So this is what would have happened if Evil Dead had sucked.
The Fangoria reference? It did not save the movie. It only highlighted the sad fact that the only people who laughed, or screamed, or were at all impressed, were not horror movie fans who would have GOTTEN that little bon mot. I mostly looked around me in amazement for two hours. That is, when I was not snickering at the totally rad title sequence, wondering what flea market the set artists had picked up all the lovely artwork at, or who Kira's nipple chafer was, or which 8th grade loser's diary they lifted all the dialogue from, or trying to place the actor who played Vincent (who turned out to be "also ran" actor Tcheky Karyo, star of The Messenger, Addicted to Love, and voila! The Red Shoe Diaries).
That's it. That's my entire review. I'm already pissed off enough that I wasted the last two hours watching that Hot Topic inspired piece of shit, when I could have been lounging on the couch watching Lifetime movies.
Fucking amateurs.
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2 comments:
At least you didn't make a special trip out to the theater to see "Penny Dreadful". Had you done that you'd either have gotten to experience being woken up by the aisle cleaning staff at the end of the film or you would have burned the theater down.
For some reason I thought this movie was okay. Maybe it was because it was right after "Penny Dreadful". And the single good scene in "Dark Ride" couldn't save the movie.
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