Delayed in Horrorville

From 8 Films to Di...

First of all: FUCK YOU CHEAPTICKETS.COM.

Donny and I arrived at the Denver International Airport for our return flight only to find out that cheakfuckfits.com mis-booked our return flight for a day later due to a website error. Here's why:

When you use the site to search for tickets, you enter in the date you wish to return. This is supposed to be... you guessed it... THE. DATE. YOU. WISH. TO. RETURN. Cheaptickets.com doesn't quite get this. They think you mean: the date you wish to begin to return, regardless of when you might actually arrive at your destination.

So when we chose to arrive back in Baltimore, MD on 11/20 on a redeye flight, cheaptickets misunderstood us to want to START to return to Baltimore, MD on 11/20 and actually arrive on 11/21. NO, NO, NO YOU FUCKS: NO!

So why, you may ask, did we not notice the departure and arrival dates of the return flight when we chose it? Because cheaptickets.com only lists ONE date on the website for your return flight: the date you chose to RETURN to the city you selected. So when we selected 11/20 to return back to Baltimore, the website showed us an itinerary for 11/20 indicating that we'd return at 5:25 in the morning, noting that it was an overnight flight departing at 11:55 pm. The obvious conclusion- SINCE WE CHOSE TO RETURN TO BALTIMORE ON NOVEMBER TWENTIETH- was that the departing flight would leave at 11:55 pm on 11/19 IN ORDER TO GET US BACK TO BALTIMORE ON THE DATE WE SELECTED.

That's not what "Andi" in customer service believes in logical.

"Sir, how can you expect to arrive in Baltimore at 5:25 am on 11/2o if your flight does not leave until 11:55 pm?"

BECAUSE YOUR WEBSITE FUCKING SAYS I CAN, BITCH!!! BECAUSE TWENTY MINUS ONE IS NINE-FUCKING-TEEN!!!

Or how about this gem from Andi:

"The website does not have a mind of its own."

Clearly, neither Andi nor Mark nor A.J. nor any other gene pool dropout at cheaptickets.com have a mind of their own. They read off scripts to their callers from their little customer service cheatsheets and justify the actions of every slasher movie villian who has ever been depicted on screen. Andi: fuck you. You truly deserve a slow, gory death.

After three hours of customer service hell, we received NO CUSTOMER SERVICE from cheaptickets.com. They didn't even offer us a fucking coupon, man.

-Jeff, Thoroughly Pissed Off Dude of Horror