El Orfanato (The Orphanage) (2007)

Why is it that all ghost stories all occur in creepy old HUGE houses? Why is it (except for that one episode of Angel) that they never happen in apartments? Is it something in the fundamental nature of creepy huge houses. I mean I live in huge old house that's divided up into apartments, but no ghosts (considering we think it used to be a brothel back in the day, one would think there'd be a ghost or two of a whore wandering about, but no... the guy in the basement thought he heard a ghost once, but it turned out to be my cat). What was I talking about, oh yeah, creepy old houses & ghosts, so yeah, did you see The Others? If so, you may as well have seen El Orfanato. This is not to say I didn't like the movie, quite the opposite in fact, I very much enjoyed the flick. It relied upon the score to create that essential atmosphere of creepy. If I could have been fortunate enough to see it with surround sound, I'd probably be scared out of my wits - especially the psychic scene (I kept waiting for the psychic from Poltergeist to show up). It had a better story and was beautifully shot, however, once the old woman is identified, you know where the story is going. Albeit except for the twist at the end (spoiler - it's kind of an M. Night twist)

That said, I sincerely believe the little kid who played Simón could pull off Damien in a heartbeat.
Not to mention his little invisible friend who thinks he's the Scarecrow from Batmang - that kid gave me the willies.

All in all an enjoyable flick, very worthwhile. It was apropos that I happened to watch it during a thunderstorm, which made the atmosphere even better. If I had an ounce of foresight, I could have watched it via candlelight.

Oh yeah, sorry boys, no nudity.

Still,

4 Georges.

Sheitan (2006)

The French have taken a traditional horror story arc and added their own style and flavor, resulting in a pleasing vichyssoise called Sheitan.

A bunch of 20 somethings mix it up in the club/disco scene in the big city (they call them discos in Europe, yet they feature no disco music OR bellbottoms, what gives?) and meet a hottie who invites them all to her rustic country manse to continue the party and enjoy the Christmas Holiday. They all pile into a car and make the trek to BFF (like BFE, but in France) where they encounter Vincent Cassel along the road when they have to stop the car due to a goat roadblock. Vincent plays a creepy crusty bumpkin really well.

The kids make it to the expansive house where they get a partial tour that includes a room of doll parts, from the hottie’s father’s former doll making business we are told. Vincent is called the housekeeper/groundskeeper of this abode, but I think he owns the joint, and he has a wife that is kept tucked away (for good reason, it turns out) for most of the movie.
Over dinner Vincent relates a little story about incest, a deal with the devil, and a special ‘gift’. By the end of the movie we learn that the story is about Vincent and is the reason the kiddies were brought out to the farm. Violence and mayhem ensue, and the movie ends with a most disturbing Christmas Family Portrait.

This movie had a pretty good balance of everything that makes a great horror movie: a few laughs, nudity, clever camera shots, oddball characters, and mounting tension/unease culminating in disturbing violence. The soundtrack, particularly the music in and around the front half of the movie included some great techno/fusion/trance (whatever the hell the kids call it these days). There were a number of really clever camera shots throughout the movie, including a subtle shift in camera focus, moving ones eye from the 3-way happening in the foreground to Vincent Cassel leering into the room from outside the house whilst hanging from a ledge.

The movie is packed to the gills with hell/underworld/biblical temptation and punishment imagery and symbolism. Some is a bit heavy handed, but it’s great fun to shout them out when you see them. (Eve offering people apples, dude getting frightened by a snake and Vincent chastising him and taking care of the snake, Club Styxx, a very satanic looking goat, and there’s even a plague of locusts in someone’s bed!)

The fact that Sheitan is this director’s (Kim Chapiron) first feature-length movie makes it even better. I can’t wait to see what he does next.
So to all those responsible for this bit of celluloid, I say this: “Mercy Buckets, mes amis!”
4 Georges

Sheitan (2006)

So every year the Big American Picture Companies put out their annual quota of horror films (about one) targeted at the current generation of teenage moviegoers. Scream. I Know What You Did Last Summer. Etc, etc, ad nauseum. They're the perfect movie to go see with cute Susie Jones or hot Bobby Smith because Susie gets an excuse to scream and Bobby gets an excuse to put his arm around her. The movie can be as shitty as it wants to be because until the day when there aren't any teenagers and/or movie theaters there will always be a market for one-and-a-half hours in a dark room with excuses for teenage courtship.

But if you're like me, the question burning in your mind right now is: what are these movies like in France? (Ooo la la!)

Yeah... it wasn't exactly burning so hot in my mind, either. But I'm here to tell you that if "Sheitan" is any indication then perhaps the French cousins of our American teen horror films are a notch or two above the usual fare.

What you get:

• Some creepy scenes and at least one that's downright gross


• A hot female lead who gets delightfully naked


• Ample laughs

Which essentially translates to: scares, sex, and fun: the essential ingredients of any good horror film.

But Evil Dead II this is not.

The plot is another variation of "kids stumble into a house of evil" and in this case is of the big mansion variety (ala Satan's Blood). Nothing new there. The film also has its share of minor cliches and plot holes.

What makes it watchable is that all of the elements are presented with technical merit: there's some great editing (the sunset sequence), clear and colorful processing (emphasizing natural colors rather than using oppressive color filters), and good acting: Cassel is brilliantly creepy. I even liked the soundtrack.

The Tartan DVD release is presented in 5.1 DTS Surround along with the standard Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 audio tracks, per their usual (very welcome) standard. It's nice to see Tartan bringing us a film from a non-Asian country! How many more times do we need to witness a horror scene end with a punctuated cut of a pale-faced kid in a long black wig?

Although the film's dialog is in French, English subtitles are available and are done rather well.

This sure isn't a classic but I'm guessing it will beat the hell out of Saw XIV.

4 Georges.