Desert of Blood (2008)

There's a reason why you see a great pair of teeth... err... teats in the opening minutes of this film: once you're done gawking at Annika Svedman's pear-like plushies, there is absolutely nothing left to sit through this film for. Sadly, that includes Jackie Freed's topless scene where it is painfully obvious that her buxom bosoms were delivered as naturally as the strained acting of her cast mates. An apt title for a film that leaves your palette dry and you loins yearning for even a fleeting glimpse of Tori White's Tecate Treasures. The latter lack of bare breastage earns "Desert of Blood" a Blue Treehorn in my book. Don't waste your time.