Ahh, 70's Horror Movies

Rabid (1977) - David Cronenberg and producer - Ivan Reitman. You read that correctly, Ivan Reitman. Of course, you're not watching the movie for either Mr. Cronenberg or Mr. Ghostbuster's himself, you're watching for Miss Marilyn Chambers and her aversion to bras.

I must confess, I really don’t understand exactly how Rose became, ah, infected with the armpit bloodsucking penis (excellent band name), but I assume it’s because of the skin graft the plastic surgeon took from her leg and sent off for the “radical treatment process,” but I suppose it’s doomed to be one of those mysteries that you never understand (kind of like Republicans). Anyway, Rose’s “dick” has some serious problems, a lust for blood, and jizz that turns you rabid. Granted the way she gets off isn’t exactly pleasing anyone (really, would it kill her to bring flowers or call once in a while?), but it sates her hunger, and turns scores of people into rabid zombies – a good time for everyone.

Any film where they’re using regular old garbage trucks (with snipers atop them!) to haul away the dead is a winner as far as I’m concerned. Also any film that has a dude, in the middle of a epidemic (who, by the way, is wearing cream colored leather pants) breaks down and cries when his girlfriend (granted she is Typhoid Mary) wants to engage in a little phone sex (yeah, she’s gonna die in a minute, but still) is pretty damn funny.

HoPoTo requisites include numerous scenes of Marilyn’s tits, but that’s about all. I thought for a minute we were going to get a little girl on girl action (and really, why not? It’s a horror movie, there was a hot tub, and Marilyn Chambers, why the hell wasn’t there?), but sadly, it was not to be. For an “R” rated movie it was pretty damn tame. I do want to track down the movies that were playing at the p0rn theater cause they seemed fun.