The Georgian Scale

When the first convention of the Dudes of Horror assembled in Colorado Springs, CO in November of 2006, the world shook in horror. But more importantly, Bunny Horror's Boobs:

were responsible for many beating hearts. Fortunately for you, the Dudes of Horror survived the experience and lived to bring you this kick-ass blog. One brave little mouse, on the other hand, did not:



That's poor George. The Dudes of Horror met him on November 19th when he snuck into Walter and Bunny's home. During a frantic chase around the house, George peered upwards with his beady little eyes and beheld the majesty of Bunny Horror's Boobs playfully jiggling as she ran- crouched over- to catch him. He suffered a massive mousy coronary and died right on the spot. Walter quoted the Looney Tunes ("I will love him and hug him and pet him and squeeze him – and I will call him 'George'.") Donny and myself laughed hysterically. Bunny sank into a deep state of guilt-induced depression after placing the lifeless body of George in his burial box (pictured above.) We later assisted Bunny with her recovery by taking the photos of her that you've been gawking at instead of paying attention to our reviews.

Little George didn't live past that fateful day and could no longer bring us the wisdom that his bewhiskered mouse chops would often utter (i.e. "SQUEAK!") but he has lived on in spirit though the Georgian Scale. No, it's not the name of a film about George's musical contributions or about climbing the first president. The "Georgian Scale" is our name for the Official Dudes of Horror Rating System. Films that would otherwise rate "5 Stars" according to lesser critics' scales will be given the "Full George" here.

Now you're probably wondering "where was this 'official' rating system half a year ago?" Well the answer- man- was that we had it but... uhhh... we were just, like, ummm.... too busy then to make these cool icons:



Ahh, George. In all of his splendor. What about films that rate less, you ask? Well for those we memorialize George in true horror fashion:



So you get the point. Of note is the 1/5 rating which also has a special name:

I believe it was Donny who decided that if we were only going to give one severed George part to bad films, it should be the ass.

Oh, and if there is a film that is so retardedly bad that it doesn't even warrant a severed mouse ass, we give it the droppings:


So there you have it. The Georgian Scale. Remember that it is up to the individual reviewer to determine how their review translates into Georges... so don't expect every Dude to act the same. If they did, we'd only need Donny. And that'd be a bleak world, indeed. (Shut the fuck up, Donny!)

(NOTE: There are unsubstantiated rumors that the death of George was actually caused by a delayed reaction to an advance screening of the Richard Brandes film "Penny Dreadful", but we're sticking with what we know...)